I had a very important day yesterday. Some things with my host family and exchange organization were troubling me. I don't want to go into detail, but I will say that sometimes I feel like the only adult here.
I was very frustrated with my inability to express myself and the way that people were listening (or not listening) to me. On my run I decided not let it get me down. I like running and I find that when I’m angry or in turmoil I run faster. I can leave all my bad emotions on the road. It was a long hard run. I often compare living in Japan to running in my head. Just like running, there’s a little voice inside of me that is saying I can’t do this and I should go home. Running is all about being able to tell that voice to shut up and run faster. So just with Japan, I need to tell that voice inside of me to shut up. I’m going to be here till June no matter what. This time is going to pass. What I get to decide is how to feel about it. So I’m not going to let anything get me down. Friends, family, CIEE, nothing matters except what I think of myself. Coming to this decision was very satisfying and at the end of my run I felt like I accomplished something very important. Nothing is going to get under my skin. When dealing with difficult people all I can do is continue to maintain my composure and maturity. If I’m the only mature person in the room, all the more reason.
I felt good after my run. The tough part will be maintaining this mentality for the long run. But like with anything here, more practice and time will make it easier. So I’m going to focus on the good things in my life. I love talking with my family. The kids on the track team are becoming easier to get involved with. I’ve discovered I like reading Japanese comics. Running is fantastic. I asked about community service today at church. Now I’m going to a nursing home later today and helping out. I have no idea what I’ll be doing but I want to do something to give back to my community. Tomorrow I’m going to a Media Arts Festival at a college. My Japanese is getting much better. I’ve mastered almost 300 new words in three weeks. My birthday is a week from tomorrow. Making friends will come with time. I know I’m doing everything correctly and eventually I’ll hang out at someone’s house. It’s not as easy to build relationships in Japan as it is in America. It’s a very closed society. So breaking those cultural barriers would be tough even if I could speak fluently. I just have to keep my mentality up and think positive.
I feel much better with my new attitude. We’ll see how it fares when I face new challenges. I’m ready for them. Bring it on Japan.
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3 comments:
Positivity! Way to go man! You be awesome! Listen to some E-town rap! I think that the attitude is the most important part of going to a new place. You are so brave for trying this new society and continuing to try! Good job man, and happy halloween!
Yea man, keep up your struggle. Hard to be mature in a surrounding that isn't, you have the right approach though.
You are way mature for your age Scott, anywhere on Earth.
Love ya man, make sure to do somethin' extra special on your birthday, and happy Birthday in advance if I dont get a chance to post!
99% attitude, 100% maniltude...is an accurate depiction of your plan.
Keep up the good fight. Think of it like a farmer. You plant a lot of seeds. Not all end up working. It takes a long time, but what eventually emerges is delicious. I think harvest time is just around the corner. :)
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